4 Things to Never Do as a Parent

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We have just concluded a study on parenting with an adult class on Sunday Mornings. We had some great discussions about ares we need work, fears we have as parents and the power of prayer and the gift of grace. I have had a head start over many of the members of our class, by a dozen years or so. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned, and the ability to share openly about the things we did well and the terrible ways I fell short in my Mothering journey. These are a few of the lessons that we learned.

Don’t let parenthood isolate you

We will all have to run our own crucible of parenthood, but it is good to be surrounded with folks are a bit ahead of you on the road. I appreciate my friends who are not to proud to share where they failed in the parenting journey themselves. Their humility welcomes me to share and be open with my own failings and fears. I encourage you to have a group of friends who love you first, and who you can ask questions without feeling judged. It might be hard to find them but keep looking. I have been blessed to find my tribe. They love us, as is. Sometimes I need that more than anything else. Kids are hard to raise. They will mess up. I hope they do most of their messing up while I am around to help them learn.

Don’t relive the mistakes of your childhood

You get to choose how you are going to raise your kids. No matter what your natural family life was like, you have very resources available to make the changes to give your kids the kind of life you deserved. Be intentional. Do it early.

I didn’t have a stable nuclear family until I was nine. My mother worked and went to school full time. As I child I was pretty free to play and explore my world. I loved being free to chase trails and make friends with all of the neighbors. I did not have a lot of structure. That left me needing to do some research because I didn’t have a natural frame of reference I felt like other parents had. We also did not attend church or have a clear picture of who God was growing up. My Mother came to Christ when I was eight or nine as well. I was rising my children from infancy with prayer and bible time. These were things I knew I wanted to do differently, but without a model I knew I was going to need a lot of help in implementing these along the way.

Don’t go into parenthood blind

Get help planning the life you desire to shape for your kids. I hear some people label it intentional parenting. I just knew that I was going to need to make a plan for how we were going to do better. For me, I looked at it like an upcoming job or degree program. I studied for Parenthood like I was going to have a final, because I am. My children are the test and I would like to pass with flying colors. I hope the final test is still a bit of a ways off, but overall, I think we are heading in the right direction.

Don’t forget to ask God for the wisdom and grace you will most definitely need

I know I had a lot of help along the way. First, by being a blood bought child of God, filled with the Spirirt of the Living God. I like to say, “I am wall to wall Jesus.” Though I don’t resemble it nearly as much as would like to, my relationship with God is my one true saving grace. They is so much humility involved in parenting. Jesus was a great example to me; he was a leader who had all of the authority yet never demanded peoples hearts. My hearts desire is to capture the hearts of my kids, so our love survives all that life brings our way. I hope that is the goal in your parenting outcomes as well.Outside of that, there are a few books that have ben a great help to me along the way.