Breaking the Surface,the 3rd Wave of Motherhood

We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this review or post, but all opinions are our own.

Have you ever felt like you were holding your breath, waiting to beat the clock? Are you wondering when life starts to look a little more like you thought it was going to be. Mothering has come in waves over the years, each one washing away the last and making me a new and stronger version of myself.

When I was little I was obsessed with holding my breath underwater. I read an article in the my Jaques Cousteau Encyclopedia about pearl divers and decided I would grow up to be one. Needless to say, I spent a great deal of time at the bottom of the pool holding my nose and counting.

Two things I know about holding your breath on the pool floor; there is immense pressure, you can feel it in your ears, and if hold your breath for a long time everything falls away until all you can hear is the whoosh-whoosh of the pool filter and the pumping of your blood in your ears. For years I held my breath everywhere, but I never could break my pool time. I think it’s because in the pool, I had total concentration on one goal, keeping my air in and my heart beat slow. That was the past 10 years, with lots of littles in the house. There was always a bit of pressure and my ears were certainly full. I did a lot of being still, staying home. I did try keeping my heart rate down and all. It was a time of sacrifice and patience. I learned to innovate and to lean on God and trust Him to meet my needs.

This year I broke the water’s surface in life, just like I did when I was a kid holding my breath in the neighborhood pool. I came up panting, my lungs burning, thirsty for fresh air, but the sky looks clearer than I have ever noticed before. There are years that you swim hard for the prize. For years you worked long crazy hours. Years you paid down the mortgage or incurred huge chunks of debt by getting a degree you needed. Swimming till every fiber burned with the effort.

There are the years that you hold your breath and wait until you think your lungs are going to burst. Raising littles, caring for parents, building your own business, counting, holding, waiting for bed time. The whoosh-whoosh of little hearts was my comfort during these years. Babies napping on your chest. Please just tell the laundry to wait.

I’ve been swimming hard and then holding my breath for the last 20 years. Thrashing though uncharted waters and alternately counting the time and keeping my heart rate slow. Our first home, two moves, two restaurants, 10 kids all home for school. One, two, three, just get through the day, breathe in gulps.  To say it has been a whirl-wind is an understatement.

We’ve been running toward huge goals that required total focus. We paid off our business and our mortgage with very little income and far less breathing room for extras, like tires and shoes. Read about my boots here. I’ve been raising littles which makes you hold your breath and be still more than you ever thought possible. (more about days with littles here) but suddenly I’ve broken through the surface of water. It is new and I’m not sure where I am going but I’ve learned to trust God and my instincts over the last 20 years.

If you are swimming hard, press on. There will be a day when you get to let up and enjoy the prize. I hope you have plenty of people to encourage you along the way. I know I needed lots of pep talks and hugs during the hard years. God and I had many chats over chocolates in my closet.

Are you holding your breath, waiting. You are building endurance, trust and a quietness that will serve you well, when you feel the tug to become overwhelmed again. Enjoy the opportunity to slow down and really see the world around you. I loved the excuse to blow off chores because the littles needed to go outside and run. The dishes can wait, trust me. Follow your children’s lead more often than you want to, it will lead you to great experiences.

Are you breaking through? There is this new place in life where we have a little more control, room to make plans and set goals. This is the time we’ve been training for. The frantic race and the quiet depths collide to give us the opportunity to make our own stride.

I hope you find the sky clearer and the company enchanting.

Don’t get me wrong, I still fight every day for the time to write. Every post is dotted with 1000 interruptions, but I am doing something new. Something I really want to do. The past was training that gave me deeper lungs and the fierce endurance I have now. I am ready for this new thing, wherever it leads me.

What is it that thrills you? What is it that you want to explore, test, try, see?

I would love to hear from you. Which season are you in right now? Where do you need encouraged the most?