Comparison is a Killer of Joy | In Due Season Volume 1.5

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Comparison will ensure that you have hard time finding your stride.

I remember, early in our marriage, I kept thinking I should be more like my husband. He was outgoing. The man could work circles around me because he was a tireless producer. Literally sleeping just 4 hours, he would work an 18-hour day, go back to bed and do it all over again the next day. He could keep that pace for weeks. I tried once, sleeping for less than six hours. Even before I was a mother I was pretty sure that the exhaustion was going to kill me. It did not take me long before I accepted the reality that I was not wired like my husband. I was never ever going to measure up if I was going to measure myself against him. If I had kept pushing myself to be like him, I would have ended up miserable and worn down.

No one has a school like yours.

If you choose to school at home, you will quickly discover that your home life is unique.

[Tweet “Advice is helpful as a guide, but comparison is a horrible leader”] ( please feel free to tweet that right now!)

Comparison will always leave us feeling like we are falling short. This is an attitude I still have to battle all of the time. I have learned that I will never measure up. I can not continue to measure myself against other families and what they do. What works well for them might not work for me at all.

Setting Goals Keeps You From Getting off Track

One of the ways that I avoid comparison is to set goals for our family. I measure by healthy comparisons, as I look at the progress we’ve made toward our goals. I have a “why” paper, a rough school mission statement. With it I can check back to see if my focus is getting off course. There is a big difference between two critical motivations for making changes. One we need to make in order to make our day better, the other we make when we fall for the comparison trap. Making changes is a regular part of homeschooling. If the motive is to help our schooling or our student, then we endure the growing pains of transition. If, however, our motive to change our school or our child is driven by less than sound reason, those changes are destined to lead to frustration.

One type of change can strengthen our joy while the other steals it. When I feel like I am losing my joy, when I get frustrated with my kid’s progress, I have found it was my heart that needed some work.

I have to step back, pray and reevaluate, checking to see if I need to push through or change some of our goals. I have to ask the hard question; am I working to impress people rather than following our purpose. I still have to guard against comparing my choices to others.

Do you struggle with comparison?

Where has it caused you to feel pressure in your homeschool?

Check out the In Due Season post about showing love uniquely in your homeschool here and learn more about the value of incorporating your child’s gifts and interests in your school day here

In my full course we talk about the pitfalls I experienced in the comparison trap myself. We create a set of goals with your journal pages to keep your family on track. Read more at www.indueseason.net