We Influence With Our Words | In Due Season Volume 1.19

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Early in our home-school experience I had the blessing of being challenged on a daily basis, by a very strong willed daughter. I was not so Pollyannaish in my descriptions of the situation while I was in deep in the trenches. I am thankful that I had a standing coffee date with a wise friend. I would use the time to vent my frustrations. My friend would gently reshape my words and feed them back to me, making the bitter become sweet. She reminded me of how precious my daughter was, and what a gift from God she is in my life. I did not always enjoy that part of our talks. Sometimes I left our coffee time kind of irked.

I wanted to complain and wallow in my sorrows, but the truth was set right out in front of me. I could choose to reshape this situation with my words. If I could not change my child, I could change myself and the way that I interpreted her actions. I could choose to stop taking her behavior personally and pick up better tools to parent her. Complaining is passive, raising a child is active. I needed to start acting differently if I wanted to have a different attitude. It had to start with my words, because my words were speaking to my heart.

To begin with I prayed; often and daily, because change is hard and you need a partner that sees further that you can. I asked God to help me see my daughter as He sees her. As my heart softened, I began a new running narrative about my daughter. Instead of strong willed I told friends about how she is a strong and fierce woman that was going to need every ounce of determination God gave her to fight for those without a voice. I began to talk about my daughter being an advocate for the powerless. Today, many years later, she is growing into the vision I created. I am still frustrated by her fearlessness and determination, but I knew that if I tried to break, instead of harness her strength, she would never be able to live out the desires of her heart.

If my dear friend had not challenged me to value the power of my words, what narrative would my daughter have had to grow into. What narrative are you writing about your child?

Here is a free peek at the study guide for this lesson. This and all 24 lessons with their weekly study guides are available at In Due Season If you are ready to start building a road map to your best school year yet, check it out today.

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