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I had a great weekend at the ONE conference hosted by 1229 Ministry in Des Moines, Iowa. Nancy Guthrie shared several great messages over the weekend. Her words coupled with great worship with The Museum has me refreshed and renewed. I was glad to spend some time reviewing the message with these great discussion questions provided by 1229 Ministry. I am posting them here in hopes that anyone who went will share their thoughts as well. I am glad to see God doing big things with women here in my hometown.

What external forces are shaping your internal dialogue?

Expectation, reputation, what people think about me. I often wonder what strangers think about me before I have a chance to tell my mind to shut up. It amazes me how easily the external creeps in on me. The external, the temporary, the “shoulds”. I hesitate, when I should speak out. I speak, when I should let silence continue. Everyone runs me in different directions somedays. But only for a moments. Because, I am not the same. Jesus is moving in me, creating space for me to grow, live and breathe freely. I’ve been growing in this cocoon of divine protection. Deep in my heart God has been doing a work. A deep eternal work, within me. Like the butterfly, every part of me had been softened, liquified, broken down to the most base parts, and then rebuilt around a whole new structure. God speaks constantly. Clearly. In every circumstance. I listen more and more every day.

I am not very externally motivated. My pressure comes from myself. I desire to please all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. I fail to bring glory to God. But still He is changing me. His voice is shaping my internal dialogue.

When Nancy talks about what captivates you, what comes to mind?

I am captivated by a good story. God constantly captures me with tales and parables every time I open the word. He speaks in visions and deposits wisdoms that are not my own. That God sees fit to whisper in my ear, of the mysteries of this world, captivates me. That the God of the universe loves when I laugh, captivates me. He hides treasures for me every day. On great days, I identify that all of this is from Him. On good days, I thank Him. On bad days, I blame Him. But the constant thing in all of this is how He has captivated me. I never forget Him. God has proved Himself strong over my life for so long and has remained true to Himself. Great, good or bad; all the days are now His and not my own. He has captivated me.

How difficult or easy do you think it is to change what captivates you?

I appreciate my child like side more and more all of the time. I am easily filled with wonder. The down side is that I am also easily distracted by small, shiny objects and birds. Life distracts me. Bills distract be. Naughty children distract me. Momentarily. These same things drive me back to my savior as well. I change my interests and hobbies constantly, but my love is fierce and steadfast because it has been earned so doggedly.

When you hear the phrase “offer your body as a living sacrifice”, what does this make you think about? How do you personally think you could obey this command?

There is a cartoon we once had, about the life of Noah. I was not a childish show but thoughtful and deep. At one point Noah is describing to his sons what obedience looks like. He tells Shem to question God. Shem answers back in shocked tones, “Question God?”
“Why, yes. Question, shout, cry, but when the answer is clear, Obey!” So they continue the work, but Noah says two words as a closing to their conversation, almost as a mumble to himself, “drink offering.”

The scene ends and the Bible story continues but the words have hung there, in my minds-eye for 16 years. Obeying is being poured out. To the point of empty.

Only the failing jar of flour was miraculously filled. Only the oil that was poured out, filled jar after jar. The water in the jugs, would have remained only water, if no one had dipped out the first sip of wine.

Pouring myself out is hard on days when I want to reserve the best of me my own will.

I don’t want to be an offering, when every child has a long story to tell and I have work to do. I don’t want to be an offering when there is house work to be done and I think my task list as valid as my husbands. I don’t want to be a living sacrifice. But, I want to be a sweet smelling aroma to my Lord.

Read about how God reacts to an offering. I want to cause God to delight, to turn away wrath, to bless. So I crawl up and submit myself to be consumed. I pour out as a drink offering. I dip down into places where I am sure I have nothing to offer and I come up with good wine. I give little cakes all day, and never, does my supply fail. I submit to be burnt and find I’ve been refined. And in that I praise Him.

What is one thing that has stuck out to you this weekend as you have listened to Nancy and worshiped under The Museum? What do you think God might be trying to teach you through this?

I am a worshiper.

There is a moment in worship where everybody falls away. I don’t care what people think, I don’t care what I look like. I am just at the feet of the maker of all creation and He hears my voice. He knows me and is pleased with me. I can feel His great love for me in worship time. No matter my trials, if I surrender and step out to worship He never rejects my praise and I leave restored.

I have a true relationship with God that can not be shaken, instead, it has been forged by circumstances. Depth is often hard come-by. There is no cheap side road short cut to dependence on God. Praise Him for your trials, because nearness to God is the crown you will obtain. There is nothing sweeter in all of this life than to be His own.