Shattering Negative Body Image Part 1 | Changing Our Words

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How Borrowing Someone Else’s Words About My Value Helped Shape My New Body Image

Funny story, yesterday I went shopping for jeans, right in the middle of this article. Talk about getting checked to see if you are practicing what you are preaching. I have made a lot of progress. Most notably revealed by the fact that I did not cry. It took me trying on six different jeans before I admitted that I needed to upgrade my size. I had held out against shopping for so long that the jeans I wore into the store had a hole in them and not in the fashionable sense, but in the “please remind me not to sit down” kind of location, so there was no leaving the store without at least a replacement pair. Let me tell you I have been blessed with a man who knows how to shop. He sees those numbers on the tag like the label on a spice jar. They are nothing but a tag to help you find the right item. When I got done smooshing myself into the wrong size, he handed me a stack of jeans in my new target range. The first two fit great. Sometimes you just need to borrow someone else’s words that say, “you look great.” Especially when trying on jeans.

I remember when I went to help my mother after a surgery. She wanted to shower but I stayed near to make sure she was safe. I remember being overwhelmed with how beautiful I thought her body was. It is a strong body that carried 7 children into life. It is soft in all the right places with hips that come and go, just like mine. Since seeing her, when I feel frustrated with my body I think of my mother. I remember exactly how I felt about her beautiful body. If I were to be honest it is very much like my own. I would never have thought negatively of my mom no matter what her body size. Her body has changed over the years, but not once did it change the way I see her. Why do I turn on myself so easily? She is beautiful, therefore, I am beautiful. I have borrowed my feelings for my mothers body to remind myself of beauty, when I am not feeling so great about mine.

This was the first thing that has helped me Shatter Negative Body Image was that I had to stop criticizing myself and to get better input about my personal value, borrowing it from people that love me if I had to.

I remember those early years. Seeking approval from every corner. Looking for smiles from strangers, checking my reflection. It was such an unconscious habit that I never really thought about it, it had become second nature. After my husband pointed it out it didn’t take more than a week before I was totally aware of how controlled I was by this search for approval. I felt so ashamed at my vanity. (Read more from the last article here)

A Note About Shame

There is a shame that is healthy. There is a shame that we feel when we know we are hurting ourselves or the ones we love. That shame can lead us to humility and repentance, which is the desire to turn the other direction. When applied rightly it can give us the strength to do hard things, like changing everything you believe about yourself.

Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.

I stopped looking on my outward appearance and started looking at my heart. I started asking who I was, and what was my bigger purpose. I was going to church, but I started really hearing for the first time what God thought about me. It was not the same things I thought I had heard when I was younger. I heard about a God that had plans for my life and thought of me more often than I thought of myself.

God had good things to say about me, and I started to borrow them.

I started to memorize scriptures that helped me to say good things about myself. When my brain would assail me with negative thoughts I would counter with a verse that told of my infinite worth. The voice that told me who I was for so long grew quieter. I started to feel my worth from the inside.

Who you are, when you stand alone and face yourself should be the most sincere and true “you” there is. I am learning to love myself and still have challenges, but I have a deep security that has come from knowing that I am valued for so much more than what you or I can see.

Do you need to borrow someone else’s words because yours can’t be trusted right now? There are plenty of great things written about you in the words of the Bible. I found true assurance of my worth that has outlasted any other source.