The art of building skills when Dad was not a “fix-it” guy and your stuff is broke
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My husbands Father and and Mother divorced when he was just a year old, though his Dad remained a part of his life, the passing of skills that normally happens in the garage was interrupted by distance. At 10, I acquired a Dad by marriage. The poor guy was 26 with a new wife, a teenager, a new born, and three kids who provided a lot of broken things to fix. If that is not love I don’t know what is. He stuck around and learned his way around the fine art of fixing things. He was very bad at it at first. I have since learned that failing and failing is the only path to learning.
The problem was my Dad, like us, had no skills passed to him, outside of a mad painting streak that we grown children all take full advantage of. The process of trial and error can be hard on the family when error involves “words”, continued leaks, plumbers bills, bikes with no brakes. If only I had known then how hard the world is to fix, I might had been a little more forgiving, but a kid needs brakes if she is going to ride like Speed Racer.
So what does this mean to us as the married couple with no “fix-it” life skills.
You anxiety over broken things could leave you at the mercy of repair men forever. It could lead you down a path of anger, jealousy and frustration over what was not, but I have good news. You could close the gap on a whole generation of lost skills in a few youtube videos. It has never been easier to find a hands on solution than now. When I get an error code on my washing machine, I do what the rest of the world does, I Google it. Most of the time I can fix the problem myself. Sorry, Maytag guy.
Nothing proved to me that you can gain the skills you need rapidly better than what I experienced this summer. A spring storm damaged our outbuilding and it had to be demolished. Armed with plenty of scrap lumber, tin and still, no building skills (and Granddad’s old tools) my husband decided to build a shed. If you know my husband, he is like a dog with a bone when he wants to get something done and he is a little bit “go-big-or-go-home”. The “shed” for the mower is now a 21×17 garden shed over an existing concrete silo pad.
We learned, you don’t have to know how to build a shed, to build a shed. You just need to look up how to set posts.
My husband read a few articles online, he called a few friends, he dug up a few books and set four posts. It was like my husband had had a baby, he was so proud. From there he was unstoppable. We had a friend lend us a tool and tell us how to bore holes in the concrete to set a few more posts. You can borrow tools from the hardware store or the local Habitat for Humanity ReStore. Doug looked up a youtube video about how to attach purlins. There are a lot of great people out there making movies that are informative and full if insight. Make them your new Handy-Dad if you need one.
The process continued with much trial and error. Calling a friend, watching a video. Fixing and undoing were both a large part of the process. The best thing about the building was that our sons got to help their Dad. They got to use the tools and be a valued part of the project. They built a building. If you had told me at the beginning of the summer, I would have never believed it.
You can curse the sky because you have no skills, you can wish your Dad was the kind of guy that felt a wobbly hand rail and whipped out his tool belt or you can start fixing the small things. [Tweet “To build without previous skills use the resources you have at your disposal, youtube, books, internet, and your friends.”]
Work up to a low cost, low risk, learning project. I would have started with a dog house, but I am not Doug. The point is don’t let fear and lack keep you from doing something big. God has made you for more and he will equip you for the work in front of you as you step out and grow.
A side note to you dear wives, give your husband some grace and your trust.
My breaker of coffee makers and the man that took apart out door bell chimes for them never to work again, just built me a garden shed. I am so thankful for all the times I shut my mouth and walked away when I wanted nothing more than to beg him to call the repair guy. Now, he is my repair guy and he saves us a ton of repair bills.
