Why Do We Homeschool?

We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this review or post, but all opinions are our own.

If we haven’t met, let me introduce myself.

I’m Amber, a SoCal kid living in the middle of an ocean of waving corn in Iowa.

Back when I was bussing tables I fell in love with a Chef and he with me. We’ve been working together for 25 years in life, restaurants, and home. Together, we met the personhood of Jesus, walked out in our everyday life, one the church can’t begin tell you about, and we have spent the last 22 years getting to know. This walk has us redefining and growing our walk with God every year.

Something is working, because we are still here.

So, you would think I homeschool because it is the “Call of God” on our lives, but you would be wrong. Homeschooling is not a religious belief. I do believe it is a great choice. I believe it can serve your family well, but homeschooling is a tool. It can be used correctly and build something beautiful, that will last.

Therein lies the warning too. We have all seen someone who suffers with an injury from a tool used incorrectly. I live in farm country so I see it a lot. I knew a beautiful silver haired woman when I was small. A man had assaulted her, struck her with a hammer, leaving her smiling face with an empty silent socket, where her laughing eye had once been.

Tools are just that; it is how we use them that matters. The example might seem strong, but I have seen families that have used homeschooling as a hammer, crushing spirits, and producing dim faces with narrowed vision. This is not our hoped for end.

I attended Gifted And Talented Education/TAG as a kid & I am a high school dropout.

I attended to a school for the gifted for several years as an elementary student. I only completed the ninth grade in highschool before failing all of my classes.

The story in-between those two sentences is why I homeschool

School did not work well for a student like me. I moved around constantly, so I missed whole years of lessons depending on what the individual school was teaching. I was bright, but highly sensitive, empathetic and social. I learned to fit in quickly and to blend, because being the new kid every year in elementary school is hard.

After yet another move, leaving the GATE program and reentering a new public school, I found myself years ahead of the class I was in. I did not need to read or study to test well. I learned to work the system, avoid homework and skate along. This survival skill I had developed to stay under the radar failed me so badly.

This skating wasn’t good enough

Ninth grade; the wheels came off. My grades placed me in a high level math in yet, another new school that was ahead of the learning curve. With no study skills and years of poor school participation, I was in over my head in no time. I needed help, but my brain screamed blend, fade, don’t stand out. So I kept my hand down. No one else was asking questions in class, so I knew I was the only stupid one in there. (I am sure now, that half of us had no idea what was going on in class, but none of us wanted to look stupid by raising our hand and asking a question) I got buried, stopped going to classes and spiraled into a depressed self-destructive state. I was a lost number in a class of over 700 students. Worse yet, I had a sibling hide any mail from the school, thereby killing any chance to get help from adults that might have steered me back on track.

Social Pressure is High School

I barely eeked into the tenth grade and just when I was finally getting to stay in the same school for two years in a row, my best friend moved. The rest of my friends had graduated the year previous, as Seniors. I was starting over alone; again.

Academics was the last thing on my mind. By the middle of the year it showed. I chose a group of friends that were the easiest to blend into. People with low expectations, so I was assured I would meet them. It was a really bad choice, because meet them I did.

Leaving the Public System, for good

One day, in the middle of science class, I was called over the PA. Mom just picked me up from school. Say “good-bye to your school” was all she said as she walked me out the door. I was afraid, upset, confused and quiet. After all, I knew when to blend and fade. That day, I became the last of us to leave public school. My mom had already begun homeschooling my five younger siblings. I jokingly say I was forcibly homeschooled. In all honesty, in hindsight, that decision saved my life.

Homeschooling salvaged my education by letting me take classes at the community college. I eventually enrolled there full time and earned a degree in Graphic Design.

This high school dropout, maintained Dean’s list for the whole two-year program.

Growing Up

A lot happened between being pulled out of school at fifteen and graduating college. I worked, lived fairly independently as a teen. In those three years, I lost all of my old friends, made new ones, (some better, some worse) dated, broke my heart a few more times, found my feet, fell for the Chef, wiggled my way into his heart one conversation at a time, got married, worked, saved, paid cash for college and graduated while nine months pregnant.

Planning for the next generation

When it came time to think about school for my own kids, I knew I could not watch them flounder like I had. My husband was a great fit for the public system. He is a self-motivated rule follower. He responds well to internal prompts as well as external expectation. If you are familiar with Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies, he is an upholder through-and-through. He was gracious to listen to me and learn about homeschooling for himself by going to a few conventions with me.

Since those tumultuous teen years, I have become a student of myself. What caused the pitfalls and self-destructive behaviors of my teen years? If Soul Search was a Major and I’d have earned a Doctorate for all the reading I’ve done. I have discovered that I am a questioner. The exact opposite of a good public school student. Questioners tend to only do what they believe is truly necessary.

If you can’t articulate why they need it, questioners aren’t likely to do it, even to their own hurt. Example, I never learned my times tables, because I could just look them up in my folio. I refused to engage in upper level math because no one could explain to me how this applied to actual life. I did however (way back in high school) decide LSD use was safe because I read Dr. John C. Lilly’s work on the subconscious mind in his book Center of the Cyclone. Raising a questioner can be really hard. I highly recommend Rubin’s book, I am still learning how to navigate dealing with myself sometimes.

Questioners are good listeners and truth seekers. My questioner tendency has led me to a great relationship with God. I ask a lot of questions, I don’t accept churchy pat answers. Beware of the questioner who has a pile of books on their side that all agree with them. I have learned that I need to read both sides of a subject for scope and understanding. For me to commit to learning, I need to know why I am learning something. I need real life examples and connect best through story.

So why do I homeschool?

For me, the question was always, What if I have a child like me? Could I offer a better alternative and keep that excited-to-learn kid longer if we changed how they were taught? Could we skip the relationship drama and focus on education first?

I want my kids to have a chance to know who they are before someone starts to tell them what box they should fit in. I want them to love learning and see it as something that never stops. We model that in our lives here. By homeschooling our kids could accelerate in the areas they were ready for and pace themselves in areas they struggled in without worrying about grade/class placement.

So we started a grand experiment fifteen years ago.

Ten children later it is still working for us. This is the story about us and what is working for our family. When I write, I share about our experience, in hopes that the mom who is searching for an alternative for her kid, finds hope.

Homeschooling can be the tool you need to help your child thrive. It can call out their best. It can allow them to pursue their true passion, like music or art, dance or sports. Homeschooling has allowed us to be a closer family even though our entrepreneur life had crazy hours. It is just a tool we are using, with it we build a life we love.

Are you looking for an alternative for your child or family? Homeschooling might be a great way to get them back on track.

Has homeschooling become a hammer and you want to restart your motivation and bring joy back to your family?

If you are looking for help feel free to ask me anything. I am going to be sharing individual stories of how each of my kids learned differently with the same curriculum in a upcoming series.

I created a course to help families like yours create a road map. We are all different. Our family size, learning styles, special need to accomodate lifestyles and schedule will vary greatly but this course covers six pitfalls that effect all of us as we homeschool.

The course is set up with quick weekly articles and 10 minute, daily journaling prompts that will help you build a personalized a vision for your family. We will walk through six monthly themes, keeping you focused and on track, while tackling the biggest challenges we faced in our fifteen years of homeschooling.

We are offering a back to school discount with 30% off and a private FaceBook Group for support for those who sign up now to October, 31, 2018. We will have a weekly live Q and A session and prompts to keep you motivated and intentional about your homeschool road map. We can have the best school year ever…together.